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Ask not for whom the Iguana stalks, the Iguana stalks for you...

War, politics, religion... & other stuff you shouldn't talk about over dinner...

Dedicated to the proposition that GW Bush and Saddam Hussein are figments of our unconscious minds

Cost of the War in Iraq
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According to Amnesty International, Iraq executes "scores" of political prisoners every year, at least 31 confirmed last year. How long would it have taken Saddam to execute the 6000+ Iraqi civilians we've killed this year? Figure it out.

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Bush Deified!
Governor Arnold?
Uday & Qusay Get Medals
Aliens Find WMDs!
Republican Affective Disorder
Iraqi Looter's Festival
Ashcroft Eats Babies!
Crypto-Fascists on Parade
The Manchurian President
Tatu Terrorist Organization?
Why They Hate Us
Psychic Bubba?
Shock'N'Awe
My Inner Saddam
America as SUV
Don't Watch TV
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Survivor: Iraq
France Attacks!

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LEAGUE OF LIBERALS

 


SADDAM CAUGHT..... WAR OVER..... LET'S GO HOME!

Note: Comments (sigh) working again...

Saturday, March 29, 2003


 

Arabs Shocked at Rumsfeld's Syria Threat



"Only a madman would think of widening the circle of war," says one after Rumsfeld accuses Syria of "hostile acts" such as shipping night vision goggles to Iraq.... ....Rumsfeld's comments even seemed to drive long-time opponents of the Syrian government to reverse their usual opposition to Damascus' official policies...." LA Times reports...

JUST A THOUGHT: Is it possible Rumsfeld is an Iraqi agent?


 

FLASH: COALITION DOLPHIN DEFECTS!



No kidding: The Coalition of the Trained to be Willing is starting to collapse!

Dolphins are pretty smart. Maybe they are starting to recoil from our Ramayana in reverse. Monkeys next? Humans last?

UPDATE: 3/31 - Takoma returned, apparently after being bitten by an Iraqi terrorist shark. He should have headed for Switzerland.


 

Two Important Posts

from Kos:

The silliness of counting Iraqi casualties

I'm starting to see a disturbing trend -- the willingness of Centcom generals to say "we hold 45 percent of Iraq", and "300 Iraqis were killed in the latest engagement".

Let's be clear -- it doesn't matter. None of that matters. The Iraqis may lose soldiers to every one of ours. 20. 30. It doesn't matter.

In Vietnam, the US lost nearly 60,000 men. They killed nearly 700,000 VC and NVA.

Guerilla defenders can take far more casualties than we can. The American public doesn't suffer casualties lightly, nor should it.
MORE

Marines
The Marines have never fought this far inland in their entire existance. Indeed, their entire existence is predicated on storming beaches. Their equipment refects that -- light amphibious armor, able to drive off landing ships and up a sandy beach. But in Iraq, the Marines demanded a piece of the action, and the Pentagon acceeded.

Now, hundreds of miles inland, the Marines are forced to manage a supply line the likes of which they have never had to deal with.

Their lightly armored vehicles are getting chewed up by Iraq mortars and RPGs -- leading to higher casualties than might otherwise be the case if an Army division was taking Nasiriyah.

That's not to say that Army soldiers are somehow better. Marines are by far tougher than the average Army soldier. Rather, it's a question of equipment, and the Army has the heavy armor necessary to handle Iraqi irregulars while taking as few casualties as possible.
MORE

There's alot more there, too. Be sure to check them out.


 
Lyrical Moment

Strange days are here/
Strange days have found us now...


Yep, things must be pretty weird when Doors lyrics start feeling applicable even when you're not stoned.


 
Behind Michael Moore's Oscar Mischief

He went to church that day. Boy, you can never tell what might happen if you have actual values.

PS Michael Moore's revenge: A film on Bush-Osama connection.


 
US to open more Bio-weapons Labs

Doesn't anyone remember the anthrax guy? Aren't we setting ourselves up for more?

One thing for sure, Bush is consistent. He consistently does the worst thing possible. And he never met a weapon he didn't like.


 
Blix quits over Iraq War

All I can say is it's pathetic. We used him as an excuse.



Friday, March 28, 2003


 
Bombing The Cradle of Civilization
More Metaphysical speculation

My friend, one Mr. Franklin Towers suggests the fact that we are bombing the most ancient civilization, the pre-biblical Ur, Chaldea, and Babylon proves at the very least things go around in circles. Astronomers tell us much the same, orbitally speaking.

I think it could also mean we are killing our civilization at its roots.


 

2,3 Many Iraqs?



U.S. planning more invasions, McGovern says
By BRUCE MURPHY Last Updated: March 26, 2003

Former U.S. Senator and Democratic presidential candidate George McGovern charged Wednesday that President Bush intends to invade North Korea and Iran after finishing with Iraq.

"Even now, these wars are being planned by the current administration," McGovern said. "I'm positive, based on conversations with people close to the White House, that plans are in place for the next invasions."
MORE

Morpheus called it. Everyone gets their 15 minutes of Apocalypse...


 
15 Stories They've Already Bungled


By Greg Mitchell, Editor and Publisher Magazine

NEW YORK -- Opinion. The war is only a week old and already the media has gotten at least 15 stories wrong or misreported a sliver of fact into a major event. Television news programs, of course, have been the prime culprits. MORE...


....Here, then, is a list of stories that have been widely misreported or poorly reported so far:

1. Saddam may well have been killed in the first night's surprise attack (March 20).

2. Even if he wasn't killed, Iraqi command and control was no doubt "decapitated" (March 22).

3. Umm Qasr has been taken (March 22).

4. Most Iraqis soldiers will not fight for Saddam and instead are surrendering in droves (March 22).

5. Iraqi citizens are greeting Americans as liberators (March 22).

6. An entire division of 8,000 Iraqi soldiers surrendered en masse near Basra (March 23).

7. Several Scud missiles, banned weapons, have been launched against U.S. forces in Kuwait (March 23).

8. Saddam's Fedayeen militia are few in number and do not pose a serious threat (March 23).

9. Basra has been taken (March 23).

10. Umm Qasr has been taken (March 23).

11. A captured chemical plant likely produced chemical weapons (March 23).

12. Nassiriya has been taken (March 23).

13. Umm Qasr has been taken (March 24).

14. The Iraqi government faces a "major rebellion" of anti-Saddam citizens in Basra (March 24).

15. A convoy of 1,000 Iraqi vehicles and Republican Guards are speeding south from Baghdad to engage U.S. troops (March 25).



IguanaNote: I told you so. TURN OFF YOUR TV!


 
Beat the Press? (How we treat the independent journalists of our allies)

From Haaretz Daily: via Atrios

U.S. troops in Iraq detained two Israeli journalists and Portuguese colleague on suspicion of espionage and beat one of them, relatives said Friday. They were released after 48 hours.

The journalists, Dan Scemama, of Channel One Television and Boaz Bismuth of the Yedioth Aharonoth entered Iraq without proper accreditation. Scemama said earlier in the week that he had been denied accreditation because he represented Israeli television.

The two teamed up with the Portuguese TV reporter, rented a jeep, and entered Iraq on their own, driving alongside American convoys. They phoned in reports based on conversations with U.S. troops and Iraqis.

Speaking to Channel One news from Kuwait, Dan Scemama said Friday that the Americans treated them as spies and terrorists for the 48 hours of their detention. "We were humiliated for many hours. They did not let is eat and they took all the means of communication we had on our persons."


 

Polls Suggest Media Failure in Pre-War Coverage


Public Believed Saddam Was Behind 9-11, Has Nukes

By Ari Berman, NEW YORK -- Opinion. Editor and Publisher Magazine

Thousands of American soldiers have marched into Iraq, bombs are falling, and oil fields are ablaze. After the shooting stops, press attention probably will focus on our pursuit of Saddam Hussein's henchmen, our search for hidden stocks of weapons of mass destruction, and our "securing the peace" for a democratic Iraq. But when the war dies down, editors and media analysts should catch their breath and ask themselves: How much did press coverage (or lack of coverage) contribute to the public backing for a pre-emptive invasion without the support of the United Nations? MORE:

I hope the postwar War Crimes Tribunal will consider this.


 
Another sign the War was poorly planned:

US to double Iraq force's size.

But will it double our pleasure?


 
Christianizing the Enemy

BY MARK O'KEEFE, c.2003 Newhouse News Service

Two leading evangelical Christian missionary organizations said Tuesday that they have teams of workers poised to enter Iraq to address the physical and spiritual needs (italics Mine)of a large Muslim population....
.... .... Both organizations said their priority will be to provide food, shelter and other needs to Iraqis ravaged by recent war and years of neglect. But if the situation presents itself, they will also share their Christian faith in a country that's estimated to be 98 percent Muslim and about 1 percent Christian....
... ... Richard Cizik, vice president for governmental affairs of the National Association of Evangelicals, is urging caution for the two groups, as well as other evangelical organizations planning to go into Iraq.
"Evangelicals need to be sensitive to the circumstances of this country and its people," said Cizik, based in Washington, D.C. "If we are perceived as opportunists we only hurt our cause. If this is seen as religious freedom for Iraq by way of gunboat diplomacy, is that helpful? I don't think so. If that's the perception, we lose."
Graham [sponsor of one orgainization], the son of legendary evangelist Billy Graham, has been less diplomatic about Islam than his father has been. Two months after the Sept. 11 attacks, Franklin Graham called Islam "a very evil and wicked religion" during an interview on NBC, the television network. In his book published last year, "The Name," Graham wrote that "The God of Islam is not the God of the Christian faith." He went on to say that "the two are different as lightness and darkness."
MORE

I think last year Anne Coulter said it best, "Invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."

And for that she got fired from the National Review? Those silly conservatives, they should hire her back as a psychic.


 
Estimated Prophets
Commentary on the modest proposal below

Rather prophetic (Don't watch TV) Since the last bombing, that is exactly what big poppa told the Iraqis. If Americans don't watch TV, what else would they do? It is not what's on, it is just the act, it's the adult drug, a micro-electrical shock and awe hypnosis. After watching the fire works in Iraq, I just want to sleep and wake up. I wonder how this is stimulating our children. I have noticed that the public at large does not talk about it. There is not discussion in my environment. I watched Flipper searching for mines this morning, and could not help but reflect on a recent trip I took to Sea World, (SEE the World), and the connection. I wonder what the Dolphin thinks, they are symbolicly psychopomps that help the Sea Gods, and ferry souls to the promised land. Could Iraq be the promised land for America? Which makes me want to sing, how about singing with me? You know the words, and if you don't I wrote them out for you:

Come and listen to a story about a man named GW, A poor Texasneer, barely kept his family fed,Then one day he was shootin' at some Camels, And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.

Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea (hmm?).

Well the first thing you know ol Gw's a millionaire, Kinfolk said "George move away from there" Said "DC is the place you ought to be" So they loaded up the truck and moved to Washington.

Hills, that is. Swimmin pools, movie stars.Well now its time to say goodbye to GW and all his kin. And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin in.

You're all invited back a gain to this locality. To have a heapin helpin of their hospitality. Texasbilly that is. Set a spell, Take your shoes off.Y'all come back now, y'hear?.

This could be the national anthem for the new Iraq. Yeah I like it. Till we blog again, you all come back, you need to know.


 

WARNING: DO NOT WATCH T.V.!



Alien right-wing mind control bodysnatchers have taken over! They are showing our troops carrying children and wounded POWs to safety. Think, people! This is Propaganda. Aren't there occaisions where Iraqi soldiers have to pick up children? We just don't get to see those pictures..Or do you think they laugh manically as they watch them die: "Bwaahaahahahaaa! Die miserably, you child of my countrymen....?"

And don't you think the Iraqis had to carry the wounded US POWS? As for executions, that is only what the US goverment is saying, not anyone else. BTW executed prisoners are NOT usually shot in the forehead, they are shot in the temple And where are we carrying the wounded Iraqis? Maybe to a field hospital first, but then to a POW camp. And what are they not showing? Anything that makes our soldiers look bad, whatever it might be (I don't really want to go there).

Last night ABC had a segment "who is winning the propaganda war". Iraq is apparently. The reason: Our media keeps saying things, but the Iraqis keep showing things that disprove our claims. That sounds like to me like they are winning the "truth" war.

Meanwhile BBC has an article (I've lost the link) saying the biggest casuality so far is US media credibility. Ironically, now Al Jazeeerais calling on the US to maintain freedom of the press(website requires registration).

Proven false US claims so far include: [1] finding WMD plant, [2] capture of Umm Qasr Saturday, [3] capture of 8000 Iraqi prisoners[4] killing Saddam [5] wounding Saddam
[6] killing Saddam's son [7] capture of Basra Sunday.

And what are they NOT telling us? The latest: US troops are running out of food and fuel


 
Attention Big Corporations!

You too can make big money rebuilding Iraq. Note: You MUST be a big G.O.P. donor. All others need not apply.



Thursday, March 27, 2003


 
US walks out of UN

The only united we like is united behind US.


 
AMERICA as S.U.V.

The "staff" here at the Cosmic Iguana were ruminating as to what our market niche should be. Kos has the Iraq overview, The Agonist up-to-the-minute reporting, Saddam Hussein's Blog, humor, ... we decided our market niche is psychological, mythogogical, ontological... well you get the picture...

Anyway, the thought came up: What is America's market niche? After all, in the modern era the commercial has replaced mythology.

So since this is pretty much all about oil, let's use the car market, we thought. Suddenly, every fell into place in a flash of blazing light.

America is an SUV. And not just any SUV. It has got to be a Hummer.

SUVs are dangerous, gaz-guzzling, weapons for road-rage-aholics. Probably most modern W. European countries are the various SUVs of the world. Thirld world countries are Hyundais and Ford Escorts. Saudi Arabia is a Cadillac. Asian countries are hard working, economical, family oriented mid-sized sedans ...

But America is a Hummer. (I can see this as the next patriotic song by Lee Greenwood). Not only are we a gas-guzzling, dangerous, raging road hog, but we are the biggest, baddest gas-guzzlingest road hog of them all. Plus like America, Hummers are a product of the military - industrial complex, being a spin-off of the Gulf War I Humvee.

Move over world, America is toolin' down the freeway...!


 
"Dark Prince" Resigns

Thanks to actual former journalist A.Havas for this 13 minute old scoop:

WASHINGTON - Former Pentagon official Richard Perle (known as "The Dark Prince") resigned Thursday as chairman of a group that advises Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld on policy issues, saying he did not want a controversy over his business dealings to distract from Rumsfeld's management of the war in Iraq..(including the bankrupt Global Crossings and Saudi billionaire Adnan Kashoggi).

Here at Cosmic Iguana, we take full credit for this event. After addressing the issue of Dark Princes, look what happens. Its a small holographic universe, after all.


 
"Could it REALLY be the end?

Andy Warhol's 15 minutes of Apocalypse is coming to the evil axis triplets.


 
"'We're Keeping Iraq to Punish You'

So says Colin Powell to the UN," comments American Politics referring to this article.

So don't ask to play in our sandbox anymore.


 
Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Country...

Hesiod from counterspin notes the following:Let's see....
Our troops are not permitted to fly the American flag in Iraq. But they ARE allowed to name an airstrip after President Bush, and name operational base camps after multinational oil companies.
Kind of puts the PRIORITIES of the Bush administration in perspective, don't it?




 
'Freedom Toast' Served on Air Force One

MACDILL AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. (Reuters) - On President Bush's Air Force One flight to Florida on Wednesday it was au revoir French toast, hello "Freedom toast." "Stuffed Freedom Toast" topped the breakfast menu, in a subtle slap at the French for helping...confound U.S. attempts to get the U.N. Security Council to authorize military force against Iraq.

After breakfast, the President reported that he was one stuffed Bush.


 
Who's In Charge?

I have decided that the universe is not ruled by a christian deity, but instead a Hindu or tarot god that resembles either the Fool or Vishnu. There seem to be many contradictions in the way the recent events have occurred. It's a pissing match, and the target is a well. I wonder what from will leap out of it. It's the Ramayana's Sita, but she is not a woman, instead a dark shadowy figure made of plastic, and what both Prince-Kings are battling for - if you know the story you know who Rumsfield is. But why is the world so transfixed by the oil, the shadow? It is such an unpleasant element, convenient yes, but not very warm or gentle. So, there is a war, and it is worth watching, but not for the outcome, that is already decided. The view to look for is what will rise from the smoke and soot...


 
Is there a War Going On?

Yes apparently there is. Great overview as usual from Kos (far better than CNN or Fox). I can tell you that there are no geniuses on either side here. We could've benefitted by waiting a few more months to get more troops into place. Now the Iraqis, apparently suffering from the same overconfidence that we had last week have sent out some of their best folks to get wiped out.

Well, if it all cancels out, I guess that it means we will win, given we have more money, troops, technology etc...

UPDATE: IS THERE A WAR GOING ON PART II MTV England has banned all music videos with military themes, according to Cosmic Iguana correspondent Howard Stern (yes, he is our correspondent, he just doesn't know it). This also includes any videos by the B-52s. I thought they were only on VH-1.


 
Boycott America!

Apparently, our little "freedom fries" campaign has backfired. I guess there was nothing stopping the rest of the world from applying our boycott France campaign against us:

BERLIN (Reuters) - No more Coca-Cola or Budweiser, no Marlboro, no American whiskey or even American Express cards -- a growing number of restaurants in Germany are taking everything American off their menus to protest the war in Iraq.

Although the protests are mainly symbolic, waiters in dozens of bars and restaurants in Hamburg, Berlin, Munich, Bonn and other German cities are telling patrons, "Sorry, Coca-Cola is not available any more due to the current political situation."

The boycotts appear to be part of a nascent worldwide movement. One Web site, www.consumers-against-war.de, calls for boycotts of 27 top American firms from Microsoft to Kodak while another, www.adbusters.org, urges the "millions of people against the war" to "Boycott Brand America."


Hey, I'd boycott us too, if I could.

One good thing, now I don't have to feel bad about driving a Japanese truck.

UPDATE: Libyans storm KFC (no joke). Now THATS playing dirty!


 
My Inner Saddam

Well, it's time to give you the long-awaited results of my great experiment. Yep, yesterday was the day to experience my inner Saddam Hussein. And I can tell you "It's Great to be King... (or Dictator)." In fact, I now can see why our own GW has expressed the oft-quoted sentiment that he'd prefer to be a dictator. Anyway,I used my same methodology as yesterday, beginning by channeling Saddam Hussein. Then I just let things take their course. I thought it might be hard given the time difference, but apparently nobody is sleeping too well in Baghdad these days. If the channeling faded I just surfed on over to Saddam's weblog.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun, you fire off guns in the air when you're happy and whenever you're unhappy you execute whoever is to blame. Damn Fun, for sure. The only bad thing is you've got two crazy sons who won't listen to you. No big deal, give them their own armies and tell them to fend for themselves. Oh, and of course, there's a little war going on... but no biggie either just a chance to demonstrate just how cunning you are and then, if Allah wills, go out in a blaze of glory ...

UPDATE: So does this relate to my real life? It appears my inner Saddam Hussein is responsible for all acts of road rage I commit. Don't blame me, blame him.



Wednesday, March 26, 2003


 

"Shock and Awe " a case of cognitive dissonance


According to the NY Times: "The main thing we've learned from this is that `shock and awe' hasn't panned out," said Robert A. Pape, a professor at the University of Chicago and author of "Bombing to Win: Air Power and Coercion in War," citing the military's catch-phrase for this air campaign. "The targeting hasn't broken the back of the leadership." Mr. Pape said that over the last 17 years, this strategy has been tried six times and backfired or proved ineffective in each instance. He cited examples ranging from the 1986 strike against the Libyan leader, Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi, to the 1999 air campaign aimed at toppling the Serbian president, Slobodan Milosevic.

Neither General Myers nor any of his civilian bosses explicitly said that an air campaign alone would bring down Mr. Hussein and his government. But military officials in briefings and interviews raised expectations that a huge display of precision bombing coupled with an intensive psychological operations campaign might quickly shatter Iraqi government and its military high command.


I said earlier that strategic bombing has been known for 50 years to be ineffective. The question comes up, why does the military keep expecting it to succeed? The answer is called cognitive dissonance a social-psychological term that refers to how we minimize contradictory perceptions. It has been used to explain why (among many other things) cults persist even after their apocalypse or savior doesn't materialize (Leon Festinger, When Prophecy Fails) Simply put,when we have a significant financial, psychological, or temporal investment in something it is very difficult to admit we made a mistake... so we don't, we find some way to rationalize it. The most fascinating aspect is that Festinger found that cult members' faith actually became stronger after their prophecy failed. Festinger's theory has also been used to explain the inabilty of the US to admit failure in Viet Nam, and I think it applies to strategic bombing as well... A good explanation of cognitive dissonance can be found here. PS. BTW When I say cults I mean Christianity, Judaism, Islam as well as the UFO cults Festinger studied :O)



 
Prepare for war with China?

HONG KONG, China (CNN) -- The Iraqi war has convinced the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) leadership that some form of confrontation with the U.S. could come earlier than expected. MORE

Background: This has been brewing since Gulf War I, say authors of The Coming Conflict with China.

It was exacerbated by Bush's treatment of the spy plane incident in 2001, and now by American aggressiveness in Iraq.

If GW leads us into WWIII, will you still support our President?



 
Crony War Capitalism

You know the big Iraq firefighting contract Dick Cheney's company got yesterday? Now it turns out, they got it without bidding. I guess this proves the war isn't just about oil. It's about any way of making money.


 
My Inner Bush

As you may know I dedicated yesterday to experiencing my inner George Bush. Here's what happened:

I started out by trying to channel George Bush to know what I was looking for. I was hoping to experience moral clarity and resoluteness, but mainly what I experienced was a lot of fuzziness, no doubt from years of alcohol abuse (his, I think). There was also piousness, confusion and a need for authority figures. My main moral clarity came when I got pissed off -- suddenly my fuzziness vanished. Well, I can relate to that.

It was very enlightening.

Next, my inner Saddam Hussein.


 
U.S. Trying to Stop U.N. Session on War

UNITED NATIONS -- The Bush administration is struggling to head off an effort by Baghdad to persuade a group of Third World nations to convene an emergency session of the General Assembly to condemn U.S-British military action in Iraq.

American diplomats have urged officials in scores of foreign capitals to oppose a campaign by the Non-Aligned Movement to rally support for a resolution.

Although General Assembly resolutions are not legally binding, U.S. officials are concerned that the move could further damage their political image at the United Nations.
More

Of course, not attacking would have helped even more, but why address issues of substance when you can address image directly? (note to the irony-impaired: this is dripping with sarcasm)


 


Latest Update

More Killing. Surprised?


 
Monkeys To the Front Line!

The Legendary South Knox Bubba has discovered that (no joke) now monkeys have been added to our animal allies (along with dolphins).

The coalition of the trained to be willing is expanding to other species!

This is starting to look like the Ramayana. All we need are bears and demons (correct that, we have Bush and Saddam).

Our co-conspirator Morpheus was prescient in saying saying this was turning into a Hindu play. Unfortunately, in this play there's no Lord Rama, just two Demon Kings.




Tuesday, March 25, 2003


 
Why the "Decapitation Attack" failed

Time Magazine has a long article on the surprise attack to take out Saddam. Apparently the war was planned to start 3 days later, but the CIA got "inside" information on where Saddam was going to sleep the night of Bush's deadline.

What everyone fails to realize is that it is quite likely that the CIA was being played by Saddam. The reason why a dictator like Saddam has been in power for so long is that he is smart. A dictator needs to test the loyalty of his guards constantly. Anyone who is the position of being able to betray Saddam has been tested many times, by Saddam's agents posing as his enemies. If they betray him, they are shot. Anyone who gets an offer to betray him, immediately reports to Saddam, so they won't be executed in case its a trick. Hence, Saddam knows about any genuine offers of betrayal and can play them back on the perpetrators. That is what happened last Wednesday...

Saddam put out his disinformation and made sure he got some great nights of sleep while they thought he was dead... And he may have had a chuckle at our expense as well...


 
Chemical Plant Another Fake-out

The Agonist (which is the best site for up to the minute Iraq war news) is reporting:

7:33 U.S. military investigators have found no evidence that chemical weapons have been made in the chemical plant siezed by coalition forces in An Najaf, a senior defense official said. The official also said that intelligence gathered before the war had identified the plant as part of Iraq's chemical weapons program. Preliminary evidence indicated that it was a chemical site, but investigators have determined that it has not been used in at least five years. (http://www.agonist.org/archives/000844.html#000844)

This was a typical Bush Administration ploy. When the plant was captured, Central Command denied it was a WMD plant. After the American prisoners were shown on TV, they reversed their opinion to drive the bad news off the screen. Two days later, it turns out they were correct the first time.

And you wonder why there are conspiracy theories...?



 
Two Body Blows to American Prestige Abroad

American prestige has suffered two major blows in terms of our image abroad. The first, of course, is an unjustified and immoral war that may well cause the rise of another generation of Islamic terrorists.

The second, perhaps worse, is the awarding of the best picture Oscar to Chicago. It was an alright movie, but hey why not advertise to the world that America is filled with gangsters, crooked lawyers, sexy bombshells and that everyone is just into fame and money. That ought to convince them that their prejudices about us aren't true. Most people outside this country get their opinion of the US from our foreign policy and our movies.

Next thing you know, they'll think this country is being run by some cowboy.


 
New Co-Conspirator

We add to our already vast staff a new co-conspirator: Bill "Morpheus" Bojangles. Or as I like to call him - Bilbo Jangles.

That makes him a member of that famous Afro-Navaho wing of hobbits known as the Navahomeys. Morpheus and I hold numerous debates as to whether the Bush gang are just cleverly pretending to be dumb or dumbly thinking they're cleverly pretending to be dumb. It's a good question, one that mankind may never answer...


 
Conspiracy Theory?

Here's a thought: What is going to happen to the Iraq troops, when the US troops sailing from Turkey arrive? It looks to be a pincher move in reverse. The Turkey debacle was maybe all a ruse to get the Iraqis to come out from their hiding areas. I do not see how the Pentagon would leave all those tanks in the open if not for a ruse. Americans can be clever too. And also, with all the power we have, why play around, firing bullets. Drop a few, "Shock and Awe" bombs on their troops, Oh we already did this. Perhaps we could send Dolphins to attack them (oh we did that too) ...how about blowing ourselves up with grenades? I say we just just land a C5 in Bagdad and unload a few street gangs.

How far can this go? Left up to Mr. "Absence of Evidence, is not Evidence of Absence" ...A long dusty time.


 
Up With People, Down With Despots, Dictators, and Democratic Leaders

There are no good guys or bad ones. Nor is there a middle ground.I see this Gulf war two as a Hindu play. The questions should be, will it end in annihilation or just wave by us. I am going to ride the wave, so I suggest everyone go out and buy Aloha shirts to say goodbye to all those who miss the wave. When I say wave - think of Relativity, and particle waves of light - there is only the appearance of darkness, shadows ( Bush, Saddam), It is the absence of light, at the end or begining of the wave that gives the appearance of shadows, so find the wave, any one will do and get on.


 
Latest Predictions for Iraq War!

I went to South Knox Bubba's joke psychic hotline page and asked "Will GW Bush prevail in Iraq?" The answer was perfect: "If the good Lord is willin' and the creek don't rise."

Note this quote from US Army Col. Dan Smith (ret.) in the Christian Science Monitor: "the Iraqis may want to entice the US ground forces into the plains between the Tigris and Euphrates and then flood the area."

Let's hear it for Bubba and the Collective Unconscious...

BTW, lest you take me for someone who is not entirely serious, I did ask a test question first.
To wit: "Will reality end?"

The answer from Bubba: "When monkeys fly out of my butt..."

Good answer, I thought.


 
Don't Try This At Home!

In an effort to understand these perilous times, I am trying to get in touch with my inner George Bush.
Tommorrow: my inner Saddam Hussein.

Watch out...!


 
Why am I not surprised?

Guess who got the firefighting contract for Iraq?


 
Why Bush? Why Saddam?

Periodically I will post speculations as to the significance of events relative to the collective unconscious. Not that I particularly believe anything I say, just that it's fun to do. And in trying times that's justification enough.

OK try this. Here we have two villains: Bush: the egotistical know-nothing who stumbles his way to world dictator, and Saddam, a cruel, cunning national dictator in the classic mode who rules like an Oriental despot. I turn to Rudolf Steiner, author of "The Influences of Lucifer and Ahriman".
Steiner offers a world view that is beyond the simplistic dualism of Christianity and Islam. In fact there are two villains- the two named in the title. Steiner gets Lucifer from Christianity and Ahriman from Zoroastrianism.

Saddam represents Lucifer, described by Steiner as the impulse in thought behind paganism, intellectualism and determinism. Bush represents Ahriman, materialism, nationalism and literalism (note: I said literalism, not liberalism). Saddam, as a socialist, is heir to Enlightenment intellectualism and historical determinism. Bush as that unique product of American Fundamentalism, the Protestant Ethic, is the materialistic version of spirituality where one's wealth is proof of ones virtue. Fundamentalism, literalism, and knee-jerk nationalism are also part of the cocktail.

Where is the good guy in all this? Steiner suggests that the "Christ Principle" is found in balance, in avoiding both extremes. In other words, we are the good guys, the Chiracs and Shroeders and the rest of the world's population who are currently watching horrified as these two principles battle.

Note to myself: Eat more French Fries!



Monday, March 24, 2003


 
OK This is more fun

You can now bet on Saddam's fate or whether we'll attack N.Korea. Slate has an article on how. Well, at least someone can profit from everybody's misfortune. (Other than Dick Cheney and Bush Sr. and their companies, that is.)


 
The War Sucks

This is just personal reaction, no facts here. I don't like seeing scared American prisoners, and American bodies on the ground. I'm not too happy about Iraqi civilian casualties, either. I hate the media too, parroting the Party line, reporting the war like a football game, uttering pious platitudes.

What did we do to deserve this? Mass psychoanalysis needed.


 
Why We Won't Take Baghdad

Atrios refers to this which anticipates 12,000 allied causalties. Barry McCaffery (Desert Storm general)estimates 3000. No doubt it is a high estimate, just like previous were underestimations. But the cost will be high, maybe too high. My prediction: We conquer the suburbs, install a leader and say we've won. But what about everyone else? We will shut off their power and water and wait them out. What about journalists? Yeah, what about them? Off limits.

Another alternative is use of gas for "crowd control".


 
Patriots Vs Scuds?

Do Patriot missiles really work? Contrary to press reports during Gulf War I, they didn't. Slate takes up the question about whether they actually do now.


UPDATE: Patriot technology has been adapted to really getting those lousy Iraqi rats! See it here.


 
Take that!

Apparently in frustration over recent reverses, the allies have taken to toppling billboards of Saddam.

This on a day when 2 choppers were lost and allies mistakenly attacked a bus. Kos explains why US tactics are being rethought.


 
Saddamy!


Bob Somersby's Daily Howler has a new name for the tribalistic view that unites Islamicists and Arabists with Fundamentalists and some conservatives: "Saddamists."


Aren't there laws against saddamy? :O)


 
What's up with Public Opinion?

Polls the day before the war showed only 47% supported a war without going back to the UN. Once the war started that jumped to 75%. Media is saying its a bandwagon effect. But isn't that just the stupidest reason?

I think it illustrates what I've suspected all along. That there are 2 parties: the informed and the uninformed. Actually, its a little more complex. The dem's are largely informed, knowing about the balsa wood drones, the lack of an AlQaida-Iraq link, etc. The swing voters are largely clueless, as we saw in the last election. The repubs are mostly misinformed, disinformed or whatever you want to call it. Actually since alot of them are born-agains, its probably just that they believe what they are told to believe just like in Church.

What's happened is the clueless voters (in all three groups) have shifted en masse to pro-war. But that support has got to be very soft. Most of them get their news from friends. If the going gets tough and the conventional wisdom shifts away from support, they'll be out of there in minutes.


 
"And how many divisions do the Dixie Chicks command?"

Michael Moore's Oscar speech sure riled the establishment. "And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up," was one of his best lines. Media portrayed audience response as mainly boos, but those who were watching live, say otherwise in Atrios's forum. The quote above is a play on Bismarck's[?] famous retort to the Pope's opposition.

Actually, popes once did command armies. "The Bad Popes" shows how political and military power corrupted the Papacy. A good argument for separation of church and state, current administration not withstanding.


 
Another Vietnam?

Those Wacky Iraqis just won't surrender. Don't they know they are toast? Kos discusses the premature use of the "quagmire" term, and how quickly military credibility has vanished in the onslaught of propaganda.

I think there's no doubt that we can "defeat" Iraq, that is, occupy Baghdad and install a puppet regime. But holding it? That could be another story. Then Vietnam comparisons could be in order.

However, Iraq lacks 2 things that aided the Viet Cong: jungles and a sympathetic bordering country. We'll see if the urban "jungle" will suffice. Also watch Iran, which is after all, the 3rd member of the beloved Axis of Evil.


 
Shock and Awe a dud?
"It's 'Shock and Awe' folks, shock and awe," - MSNBC reporter. Or was it just a multi-billion dollar fireworks show? Kos has pointed out it was mostly on empty buildings. Also its been obvious to anyone watching, that there have been long periods of "lulls". What about the 3000 bombs in 48 hours? It's about one a minute. Well, that assumes they are all falling in one location. But factor in a whole country, then you have a lot less. Plus I suspect the US decided to hold back on a few smart bombs in case the war isn't over by next weekend.

And are the Iraqis shocked into surrender? Apparently, not.

Actually, the whole thing is based on a fallacy. According to a famous USAF study on strategic bombing after WWII, bombing tends to stiffen resistance rather than weaken it. Same thing happened in Viet Nam. The only exception was in Yugoslavia in 1999. And they gave in because the risk/benefit ratio of keeping Kosovo didn't look so good under the threat of invasion.


 
Old posts

I changed my mind about the name. You have to go to:
panicbutton.blogspot.com for old articles




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